A husband and wife came for counseling after 15 years of marriage.  
When asked what the problem was, the wife went into a passionate,  
painful tirade listing every problem they had ever had in the 15 years  
they had been married. 
 

 She went on and on and on: neglect, lack of intimacy, emptiness,  
loneliness, feeling unloved and unlovable, an entire laundry list of  
un-met needs she had endured over the course of their marriage. 
 
  Finally, after allowing this to go on for a sufficient length of 
time,  the therapist got up, walked around the desk and, after asking 
the wife to stand, embraced and kissed her passionately. 
 
  The woman shut up and quietly sat down as though in a daze. The  
therapist turned to the husband and said, "This is what your wife 
needs at least three times a week. Can you do this?" 
 
  The husband thought for a moment and replied,.. "Well, I can drop her  
off here on Mondays and Wednesdays, but on Fridays, I fish."

 

For his birthday, little Patrick asked for a
  10-speed bicycle. His father said, "Son, we'd give
   you one, but the mortgage on this house is $280,000 &
   your mother just lost her job.
   There's no way we can afford it."
  

   The next day the father saw little Patrick heading
   out the front door with a suitcase. So he asked,
   "Son, where are you going?" Little Patrick told him,
   "I was walking past your room last night and heard you
   telling Mom you were pulling out. Then I heard her
   tell you to wait because she was coming too. And
   I'll be damned if I'm staying here by myself with a
   $280,000 mortgage & no bike!"